And being drunk yourself is no excuse.

This belies all other points you make. About 25-30% of the casual sex I've had would not have happened if I didn't have my "beer goggles" on. I don't regret it, but is the criteria, if it is to be applied equally between genders, about judgment or physical attraction? Waking up with someone next to you who you might not go to sleep with if you weren't intoxicated sufficiently shouldn't be grounds for rape charges, regardless of which is feeling they "gave up something" in the process.