(True story) About a year ago I had the lens replaced in one of my eyes. The doctor somehow put a crimp in the new lens and used it anyway. My world is now a moving representation of a Dali painting.

It's just a good thing that I'm over 70 and gave up dating long ago. I can barely contain my mirth at the vision of my friends and acquaintances as their image twists and gyrates as I change my viewpoint. Laughter is seldom well received during sex.

Perhaps a "fun house" mirror could be situated to counter this effect. Do you know anyone selling one of those?